Paint It, Black Read online

  Yeah, it was hot, but I hadn’t expected to see anything of myself this close to my job. I could be mad, but…it was fantastic, and Elias was a genius. Oh well, it was a done deal now. I walked past a few people who were gaping at the display, some in horror, some not, and hoped no one else would recognize me.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon fending off questions about the poster, as well as dealing with demanding customers. And then, right at the end of my shift, Elias showed up.

  I arched an eyebrow at him, and he blushed. “Uh, yeah, I failed to mention that the photo shoot was for a local business. It slipped my mind, honestly.”

  “Uh-huh.” I wasn’t sure if I should believe him, plus, I’d signed an agreement, anyway. I didn’t get a say as to where my image was displayed. “What do you need, Elias?”

  He gave me a toothy grin. “Dinner? With me? To make it up to you.”

  I smiled in spite of myself. “I’m not a dinner kind of guy, Elias. At least, I haven’t been in a long time.” I frowned, wondering why I’d said that out loud.

  “Consider it a meal between friends. To say ‘thank you.’ Your photos were a hit. The client loved you. I think if you were to walk into that store, you’d be propositioned and mobbed.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

  “Oh, yeah. I could have sworn I saw a wet spot on the owner’s pants when he saw your pics. So, let me feed you and apologize for your fifteen minutes of fame.”

  He managed to look pitiful while smiling, somehow. “Fine, whatever. Give me ten minutes or so to clock out and I’ll meet you outside.”

  Elias’s face lit up like a flashbulb. “Excellent!” He sauntered away.

  I took care of the last two people in line before calling it a day.

  * * * *

  Elias drove us to a Mexican restaurant he said he liked on the other side of town. We ordered margaritas and appetizers before getting into small talk.

  “So tell me why you’re a photographer,” I said while sipping my drink. “Was it a childhood dream or something?”

  “Nah. I’ve always had a good eye, and I used to paint and draw for a while until I switched to working with a camera. It all just clicked in my head after a few classes. I was hooked. I took some courses, did a few internships, got some big breaks, and now I do what I love.”

  “Wow, that’s cool. You do excellent work, which I’m sure you know, but I was impressed.”

  “I’m glad you think so. Would you be willing to work with me again, from time to time? You’re very photogenic and so expressive and uninhibited in your movements. It’s sexy. A photographer’s wet dream.”

  I laughed at his choice of words. “Thanks for the offer. I’ll consider it.” I asked about his family and Elias said he had four sisters on the other side of the country, all older and married. He had ten nieces and nephews. His parents were traveling the world one cruise at a time.

  Our meal arrived and we dug in. We’d both ordered enchiladas, and his was pork while mine was brisket. The food was mouthwatering and we ate until our bellies were about to burst.

  I groaned. “Dear God, I don’t think I can move.”

  Elias concurred. “Does this at least make up for your gorgeous image being in a shop window near your job?”

  I grinned. “I was surprised, but I’ll deal.”

  “Okay, good.” Leaning forward, he asked, “So when are you gonna let me take you out on a date?”

  I almost choked on my water. “What are you…warn a guy before you blurt stuff like that, would you?”

  He looked confused. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to alarm you. Do you…do you not date, or something? Or are you in a relationship?”

  I vehemently shook my head. “No relationships. I’m not that kind of guy. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Elias, but you’re looking to hump the wrong tree. Find someone who’s not already tainted by…” My eyes widened at what I’d almost said. Shit. Too many margaritas.

  I made a last ditch effort to appear calm and squash the panic that threatened to swallow me whole. I adopted a flirty tone and said in a sing-song voice, “Well, I need my beauty sleep, hon. Thanks for dinner.”

  Elias frowned. “But I—”

  I cut him off as I stood. “Don’t you worry about me, sweetness. I’ll find my own way home. ‘Bye.”

  I wiggled my fingers at him before grabbing my bag. I lit outta there like my ass was on fire. I should have said “no” to dinner in the first place.

  Stupid as fuck, that was me.

  * * * *

  I felt like I was drowning. Water fell in a punishing downpour all around me and I was trapped.

  “Let go of me, you fucking bastards,” I yelled as I struggled to free myself from the thugs who held me down on the ground in a back alley somewhere. I could hardly breathe past the fear and unending sheets of rain that kept pouring down on us. It was starless, smelly, and dirty where we were.

  “Come on, you little slut. We know you want it.” The one who spoke—they all wore masks—kicked me in the ribs. I felt something crack. “Lemme show you how a real man fucks, since you ain’t nothin’ more than a bitch in heat.”

  Big hands pinned me down, and suddenly my clothes were ripped away. Time narrowed to the point of a thick cock being shoved inside me so hard I screamed. I couldn’t stop screaming. It was so painful, and I felt like I was being torn apart inside. Still, I fought. “Why are you doing this?” I cried.

  When a fist punched me in the face, blood filled my mouth, and with the heavy rain, too, I felt like I was choking. “No more, I beg you,” I pleaded, sobbing, but they wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t stop them…

  And then I woke up, chest heaving and body drenched in sweat as I tried to recover from the nightmare. The location was different, but the horror of being violated was the same. Always the same. It had been a while since I’d had one of these bad dreams, and I’d almost gotten used to being able to sleep the whole night through.

  I rubbed my face and wiped away the tears. The bedside clock announced in bright blue letters that it was four in the morning. I didn’t have to be at work until nine. Shit. I got up and took a quick shower. After drying off with a thick black towel, I headed to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. I returned to the bedroom and changed the black sheets since they were soaked, then sat with my back against the headboard while I finished my water.

  I knew what had triggered the dream. I definitely shouldn’t have agreed to dinner with Elias. It had dredged up old fears. But I admit it had been nice to be treated to a meal by someone. It had made me feel special, for one. Elias…

  With a sigh, I got out of bed and shuffled to my drawing desk in the corner. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, so I might as well do some work. I was in the midst of creating anthropomorphized pens in flagrante delicto, ink getting everywhere. Drawing had been a skill I’d developed quickly as a child, something to keep me occupied while I waited for my sister Olivia—who’d raised me—to pick me up from school.

  She’d been in the army overseas until our parents died. When Olivia came home, I’d been six years old and petrified. I’d never met her before, and I found out later that she’d been estranged from the family because she was a lesbian. But I’d had nothing to worry about with my sister. She was the best guardian I’d ever had, and when that horrific incident in high school had taken place in my late teens, she’d moved mountains to make sure the culprits were locked up for a long time. Don’t ever mess with an ex-army officer on a mission. You will not win.

  Though I felt satisfaction in knowing the bastards had gotten their just desserts, I still carried that hurt, that shame around with me. I didn’t know how to let it go. So I sublimated everything by either drawing and painting, or having sex with any able-bodied male available. Well, the sex had stopped, lately. But I still had my drawing skills.

  I spent three hours finishing the piece, by which time sunlight was coming through my windows. I took a
photo and uploaded it to my computer. It would be a great addition to my collection on DeviantArt. I was sure to get some interesting comments on it. The last piece I’d uploaded had been a fruit salad orgy, which was still very popular.

  I cleared my desk, then went to the gym, which the apartment complex made available to residents. A half hour on the treadmill and some stretches and I was ready to face the crazy people at the grocery store. I hoped Elias would take the hint and leave well enough alone.

  * * * *

  I was cashing Leroy’s paycheck a few days later, when he of the fetid, raw meat breath leaned over the counter and asked, “You gonna let me tap that ass again anytime soon?”

  I almost dropped the cash in my hand as I stared at him in frank shock and disgust. “Leroy! Are you out of your mind?” Thankfully, I was alone at the desk right then, and no one else was in line. “No means no. Once was more than enough, thank you very much.”

  I gave him the money, which he took with one hand, then grabbed my wrist with the other in a hard grip. “You think you’re better than me now, with your fuckin’ punk-ass photo out there for everybody to see what a bitch you really are?” I really hated that word.

  I tugged against his grip, but he wouldn’t let go. “Stop it, Leroy. You’re harassing me and I can report you.”

  “Please, bitch. Everybody knows you sleep around. They’ll think you were begging for it. And who’ll believe you?” He tightened his grasp and it hurt.

  Man, I knew how to pick ‘em. Why did I ever think this corn-fed, blond, blue-eyed jerk was ever worth my time and attention? Oh right. I’d been thinking with my dick.

  I was beyond irritated now. “Leroy, let me go. There are cameras here, you know, dumbass? I don’t have to say a word. It’s all being recorded.”

  He raised a hand as if to strike me, but then my boss Tammy appeared. Leroy let go of me at last, grinning like it was all a joke. “We were just playing around. No worries.”

  He pocketed his money and sauntered off like nothing had happened.

  I rubbed my wrist where he’d held it. It was throbbing and starting to bruise. “Are you alright, Trent? I saw what that fool was doing and it looks like I arrived just in time.”

  “I think he forgot to take his Prozac. Geez.” I was going to be black and blue soon, which would look great on my pale skin. “I’m formally filing a complaint.”

  “Noted.” Tammy shook her head. “You let me know if he tries anything again. He’s already been written up once for being aggressive with a co-worker. This will make his second offence. Three times, and he’s fired.”

  “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”

  “I know, right?” She walked off, muttering under her breath.

  I turned back to see Elias standing in front of me, frowning. Fuck.

  “Did that guy hurt you?” he asked.

  How much had he seen? “I’m okay. It’s handled. What can I do for you, Elias?”

  He stared at me for a bit, and I used my best poker face to keep my frustration at bay. “You don’t let anybody in, do you?”

  “That has nothing to do with my job or you, as a customer. Are you buying something or what?”

  Elias narrowed his eyes, but all he said was, “Money order for five hundred dollars, please.”

  I was glad he finally got the hint. I took care of his request, but he didn’t leave when I handed him his purchase. In fact, he took my hand gently in his and looked at my wrist, which was definitely colorful now.

  “He got you good, didn’t he?” His voice was whisper-soft as he used a finger to trace the bruised area. “You should put ice on that as soon as possible. Take some painkillers, too.”

  Shaken by his gentleness and concern, I pulled away my arm. “Thanks, I’ll do that.”

  Elias stared at me again. Why did he keep doing that? “I came here to apologize for turning our dinner into a ‘come-on.’ I scared you away and I didn’t want that. I made assumptions that I shouldn’t have.”

  I hadn’t expected that. Most guys, like Leroy, tried to push their weight around to get what they wanted. I swallowed. “Uh, thanks. I…okay.”

  He smiled tentatively. “Can we start over?” He held out a hand. “My name’s Elias Lane. I think you’re seriously hot, but I won’t push anything, promise. I’d like to be your friend, if you’ll let me. Please?”

  I cocked my head a little and studied him. He seemed sincere. I suppose I could use a friend, for a change, instead of a series of fuck buddies. I shook his hand and smiled back. “Sure.”

  Now he was grinning. “Excellent! Because I’m hoping to convince you to pose for me in a month’s time. That Goth shop has some new items in stock and they want you, and only you, to model them. They were adamant, in fact. Are you up to it?”

  I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of me. “Oh, you bastard! You were just trying to soften me up so I would get in front of the camera again. I should have known.”

  Elias’s eyes widened in dismay. “No! No, really, I am sorry about the other night. This is separate. I—”

  I cut through his panic. “I was joking, Elias. Yes, I’ll help you out. But my fees have just gone up.”

  “Oh?” he asked, sounding relieved and a little wary.

  “Yup. Now I want ice cream and dinner for the ruckus you’ll likely cause with your new photos of my skinny butt.”

  He chuckled. “Deal!” Then he sobered almost immediately. “Hey, watch that guy who manhandled you, yeah? He’s the kind that won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Keep your eyes open.”

  I sighed. “Believe me, I will. I know firsthand…” Geez, I’d almost spilled the beans yet again. Dumbass. Why was it so easy to want to share things with Elias? “Anyway, is this a weekend shoot? Give me the date and time so I can coordinate my schedule here.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean ‘firsthand’? You started to say something at dinner the other night, too. Are you…” At my glare, he let it drop. “Why don’t you send me an email at the address on the business card I gave you, and then I’ll send you the details?”

  “Okay, I will.”

  “Don’t forget.”

  “I won’t.”

  He gave me strangely shy look. “Um, maybe you could hang out in my studio sometime. I’d love the company, especially from someone who doesn’t care about the scene or is trying to use me for something. It would be refreshing.”

  I blinked at him, surprised. “Yeah? I might just do that. Maybe I’ll bring my drawing pad with me.” Aside from the fornicating fruit and writing implements I created, I loved to sketch people and scenery, too.

  Elias looked pleased. “You draw? Wow, I’d love to see your work.”

  I smiled. “Some of it’s naughty, so you know.”

  He laughed. “Even better. I’ll see you soon.” He winked at me before sauntering off, and I stared after him, wondering what was so different about this man that I was willing to let him into my world, and lower my walls, just a little bit.

  * * * *

  It took two weeks, but I finally turned up on a Sunday afternoon at Elias’s studio for a visit. We’d been corresponding online and via text since our last encounter, and he’d shared some of his old drawings with me. He was very good. I, in turn, sent him a link to my work on DeviantArt. Elias had been impressed, amazed, and strangely turned on, he’d confessed in an email. He’d particularly enjoyed one of my depictions of vegetables humping each other. He’d never known an onion and a bell pepper could get down like that.

  When seeing a sign in the window similar to the one that had been stuck there the last time, I rang the doorbell at his studio. The door opened almost immediately.

  “Hi, Trent,” Elias said, grinning at me as I entered. “You look fantastic!” He should talk, dressed as he was in a white shirt and loose pants, sleeves rolled up, a firm chest and his nipples—and nipple rings—visible through the semi-sheer cotton. Mother mercy.

  I cleared my throat. “
Thank you.”

  Today, I wore dark purple skinny jeans with a tight-fitting black T-shirt and black Converse sneakers. I had a wide leather band on one arm, with black and silver rings on my thumbs. My hair had temporary purple and black streaks in it, and I’d worn heavy eyeliner and purple lipstick. I’d freaked out a lot of people on my way here, which made me happy. I had a sketchpad in one hand and my messenger bag over one shoulder.

  “Come on,” Elias urged, enthusiastic as ever, and I followed him into his work area. The theme this time around was shoes. “There’s a new store opening in this complex soon and they wanted to have some photos of their stock.”

  There were male and female models in various outfits to emphasize the footwear. I also saw…dogs and cats. This should be interesting. I took a seat to the side and set my sketchpad on my lap. A model smiled at me as she walked by in what looked to be six-inch heels. Dear Lord.

  “Want some water?” Elias asked from where he did some last-minute adjustments to his equipment.

  “I’m fine, thanks.” I pulled a bottle from my bag and set it on the floor. “Don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the view.”

  “So am I,” he replied, and I rolled my eyes. It was easier to take his teasing and flirting when I knew it didn’t mean anything. We were friends, and that was it. I needed to remember that, especially as I watched him in his element, so sexy in his focus and movements.

  A guy like Elias could have anyone he wanted. And he’d likely get that, too, someday. Me? I was overused goods. I kept my attention on what was happening in the room, making sketches of the models, then narrowing it down to Elias himself. It was easy to be captivated by him, his joy, and confidence.

  Before I knew it, three hours had passed, and he called it a day. I watched as he thanked the models and his assistants before ushering them out the door.

  “So did you like it?” Elias asked when he returned.